If it's not Baroque, don't fix it - Cogsworth (1991)
Director: Bill Condon
Writers: Stephen Chbosky
Evan Spiliotopoulos
To start off, I kinda didn't want to even watch this...well actually I was in two minds as to whether I wanted to or not because growing up, Beauty & The Beast was one of my absolute favourite films. I identified with Belle way more than I did any other princess because Belle was a dedicated reader and I was too at the time. Anytime I felt like I was starting to lose interest in reading I'd end up watching it and I'd be inspired.
Fast forward to somewhere in 2016 and I find a cast list for a live-action version of one of my favourite films and the cast looked damn good, Emma Watson as Belle? Ideal casting. I was excited and worried at the same time, I'd seen the live-action Cinderella and Jungle Book and in updating these films they, in some ways, made them worse. They were good don't get me wrong...one more than the other but that's a different conversation. The point is, I'd seen how these had gone down and my hopes for Beauty & The Beast were still high but...I was ready to be disappointed.
Then came the trailers, they mimicked the original trailer which of course was a good idea. Bring in the older crowd by showing them what they remember from the original, and bringing in the newer crowd that probably have never seen a 2D animated feature before, and of course with the title Beauty & The Beast...first full-length animated feature film to be nominated for best picture at the Academy Awards plus the nostalgia factor PLUS they're also pulling in the Harry Potter crowd because Hermione Granger is in this. Goldmine really, can't see why they didn't do it sooner. So I saw that trailer and thought, y'know what, this looks pretty good, and obviously the film itself would have changes, but this is a good start. Then came the trailers with Emma singing, the reveal of The Beast, melding some of the original scenes with some new scenes and I just lost more and more faith in this.
Thinking about it really, this could be the first live-action film to be nominated for best animated picture, what with the amount of CG in it. The CGI looks...very CGI. I mean it's not the worst but...I'm just not a big fan of CGI, I've seen it too much and it's gotten to the point where whenever I see it, it automatically takes me out of what I'm watching because I know what I'm seeing isn't really there. If it was blended better or there were more practical effects used like...for example hairy beast makeup for Dan Stevens. Kind of like what they did for Jim Carrey in The Grinch but not as heavy y'know? And then use CG in places where it's needed. I honestly don't understand why CGI gets used for almost everything. It seems lazy and I don't understand why there isn't all that much effort put into it. Again, conversation for another day. Although I will say, the Be Our Guest number looks so beautiful I got goosebumps, this is probably the one place I'll say this version did it better than the original.
So the first thing I noticed about this was that the colour blue was...everywhere. Which is an odd thing to pick up on its own but if you think back to the animated film, the only two people to wear that colour is Belle and The Beast (the prince's name is Adam by the way, not sure why that's such a hidden thing, just a quick Google search away). The reason for this was to distinguish these characters from the rest of the cast. The colour blue is to make a connection between the two "outsider" characters making it easier for us to see them together. I feel like here, it's a featured colour because it was somebodies favourite. Can't blame them, blue is a gorgeous colour and it also happens to be mine so...But yeah, I'm not entirely sure why this even bothers me because it really shouldn't, it's an artistic choice and it works but...nostalgic bias wins I guess.
The story, for the most part, is pretty good. I mean, they follow the original tale in some places, with Maurice (Kevin Kline) going to the market and Belle (Emma Watson) asking him to bring her a rose. In other places. the film follows the animated film almost perfectly and in other places the story just fucking stops for some unnecessary exposition about Belle's and The Beasts mothers, like...who needs to know that? Film is a visual medium, y'know, show don't tell. If we get the characters emotions across in this part of their lives and enough exposition about getting to this point in the story is given then, who even cares? I always just assumed that Belle's mother was banished just like the rest of the Disney mothers but...nope, you find out what happened to her in a completely bullshit way.
The music? Mostly pretty good, almost everyone here does a good job at what they're doing, Emma sounds like she could have needed a couple more sessions with a vocal coach but she does well enough. Not like I'm one to talk about someone's singing voice when I sound like an Elephant Seal getting sodomised and mutilated at the same time but...take it or leave it like. There were songs in this that weren't in the original such as Forever More which is a lovely enough song and would be great in a broadway play but seems fairly out of place here for some reason. I mean it's beautifully shot and genuinely moved me but I just felt like the film had a more...powerful moment in place of the song. In fact, about 3 songs could have been cut from this and put into a broadway adaptation and it would have been better there. I will say again, the Be Our Guest section was so fucking good, I was dreading it but they put all of their effort and more into that number and fuck it pays off. However, there are lyrics changed but that's to better suit the story rather than change the song. All that's changed is from "10 years we've been rusting" to "Too long we've been rusting" and honestly, considering all I do is bitch, this was actually something I cannot bitch about.
So how did I feel about this? Well, if I had to give it a number out of 10, I'd give it a 5/10. That's nothing to do with the film being bad or anything because it's not. It's actually the best live-action Disney remake. I mean I'd give Cinderella a 1/10 and the Jungle Book a 3/10 but...this was easily the best one and it's the only one where I would consider buying it and letting my (soon-to-be-niece/Goddaughter even though I'm not even related but I've known my bestie for so long and we have gone through so much together that...we've adopted each other at this point) best friends kid watch it and enjoy it with her rather than just putting on a kids film that's crap but harmless because she likes it. Hell, I even encourage you guys to go out and see it. Go on, off ya go. Get your tickets booked. You're still reading this, stop it.
.......
Ohhh I know why you're still reading, you know about that shit about LeFou and my last post regarding Disney and their gay agenda. Well, you wanna know what that was all about? Fucking nothing. There was so much fucking build up for something so tiny and honestly, I might write about it but it's gonna take a couple days to get my thoughts together on it and I really don't want to mess up while talking about it. That could mean going to see the film again but whatever y'know, I'd pay to see this again and so should you if you like it. Now go, leave me be and watch this movie, or even the original, or read another of my posts, or do whatever you like really because I can't control shit....
Ok I promise I'm done this time. ̶G̶o̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶f̶i̶l̶m̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶
This is just my opinion and if you disagree then that's great, I'm open to discussion and I'm always interested to hear how you feel about this film. This is also a critique which is considered "Fair Use" under the Copyright Act 1976. If you like this film then please go and support its creators by buying the books, buying a ticket to see the film and when the time comes, buy the DVD or Bluray.
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