13 Reasons Why - Episode 3

Alex's very boring tape

13 Reasons Why
Episode 3: Tape 2 side A

Honestly, this episode was just boring, it reiterated the same point over and over. Boys are dicks and will write mean things about you. I'm going to say now that this one might not be all that long because this episode's biggest crime was that it was just boring and I don't like repeating my same points over and over.

Episode plot: It's Alex's turn to take the blame because he took part in writing a list about the best and worst features on girls at school. It seems as though she covered this in her previous tape about Jessica and she probably could have put them both on the same tape.

Title card: Since the first episode something has been bugging me about the opening credits, and it's not just the fact that they're kind of unnecessary for a Netflix show that people binge on. It's taken me a little while to realise why I can't stand it and it's the way that the title of the show is presented to us. It's not just 13 Reasons Why or Thirteen Reasons Why, for whatever reason, someone decided that it'd be fun to combine the two, giving us Th1rteen R3asons Why and doesn't that just look fucking ugly? Do the people behind the scenes creating the title card think teenagers write this way? Especially highschoolers? I mean...maybe back in the early 2000's when Sk8r Boy was a thing it was probably cool to write that way but fuck, that's an assault to the eyes right there.

Clay: In this episode, we see Clay take a fucking volleyball to the wound on his head in gym class. It kind of comes out of nowhere but the guy wasn't paying attention and managed to just get smashed. It's painful to see and of course, the guy swears over the pain he's in. Does his gym teacher care? Fuck no, just tells him to watch his language. I mean...what a shitty teacher man. Christ.

Alex: The subject of today's tape and maybe even a victim of Hannah's spiteful tape crusade. Alex does admit to what he did and knows that what he did was terrible and rightfully so, feels terrible about it. He then *SPOILER IF YOU'VE NOT SEEN IT* tries to down himself, I'm not 100% on whether he did drown or if it was just an attempt or it was a very obvious visual metaphor to show how he's "drowning" in his own thoughts over this but damn, was this Hannah's intention? To get people to follow her if they can admit to themselves that they did a shitty thing to her? Is it me or does that sound like something out of a SAW movie?

Hannah: Thankfully, there wasn't a lot of her in this one. She continues to place blame and in this one, I do see how she could be extremely upset over the events. She becomes a pawn in Alex's petty relationship problem which causes her to lose her friend Jessica, she is then getting talked about behind her back and I mean who hasn't had that? Especially girls, girls are fucking horrible creatures and we're even worse in school because that's when we start becoming self-aware. The worst part about the episode which I do feel bad for her is where she's at the corner shop buying chocolate and Brice (Justin Prentice), a friend of Justin's, comes up behind her, grabs and squeezes her arse. That's disgusting behaviour and it's not right that he felt he had the right to do it because Hannah was noted as "best ass" on that list. It's disgusting and this is the only time so far that I support Hannah's right to be severely upset.

Tony: I'm literally going to count how many times Clay says "Tony, what the hell?" Or "What the hell, Tony?" It could be the show's secret catchphrase. Tony is also played by Christian Navarro who looks like he 100% does not belong in high school. He looks like he is in his mid-late 20's and has some gorgeous tattoos. I need some help working this out because are visible tattoos allowed in American high schools for 17/18-year-olds? If so then why is that ok? I need answers guys.

The girl's bathroom: Remember what I said when I was talking about the men's stalls in the first episode? How I was saying it was unrealistic that such lovely things were written on the walls? Remember what I said in an earlier paragraph about high school girls being evil? Turns out in this universe that's true, wanna know what they write on their walls? Here's a fancy little list for y'all.

• Eat me
• Megans a whore - look who's talking bitch
• Amy is / has (I couldn't see it that well) a big wet cunt
• Jamie is such a basic bitch
• Megan is a whore and a cum dumpster
• Lisa is a gang-banger
• Diane is a whore
• D.T / P.T (again I couldn't see it all that well but I'm sure it was one or the other) had an abortion - naming my next abortion after you bitch
• Eat Shit Janis
• Fuck you Amy
• You are so ugly no on would even rape you

How vile is that? Very. How realistic is that? For America, I'm not sure but for over here it's definitely not, the worst thing you see in a women's toilet is the stuff that's meant to be in the toilet, is everywhere but in the toilet. It's a genuine nightmare for a girl to go to the bathroom in public. I don't even know how girls miss the toilet entirely and get stuff up the walls and on the floor. You guys attaching fucking tubes to yourselves and having water fights with the door closed or something? Fuck me, it's disgusting. 10/10 would not recommend using a public bathroom in (at the very least) the North West of England. I have yet to find out what the rest of the country is like.

Anyway, that's what I thought of that one, see you guys whenever for the next one. Hopefully, it won't be as dull as this one was. Peace guys.

This is just my opinion and if you disagree then that's great, I'm open to discussion and I'm always interested to hear how you feel about this episode/series. This is also a critique which is considered "Fair Use" under the Copyright Act 1976. If you like this series then go and support its creators by watching it again on its platform. 

13 Reasons Why - Episode 2

Hot chocolate is the cure for all things shitty

13 Reasons Why 

Episode 2: Tape 1 side B.

In this episode, we learn that you can't trust what the dead say. Should be a given because we can't ask them for any more information, thinking about it, why should we trust what anyone says in this story? It's their word against a dead girls. Besides that, we're seeing this how she wants us to see this, to paint herself as the ultimate victim. 

Episode plot: Hannah tells the story of how she became friends with another new girl called Jessica (Alisha Boe) and a new guy, Alex (Miles Heizer). Soon enough she discovers that friendship is fake when love is involved.

I have so many problems with this episode. First off, there's the counsellor, Mrs Antilli (Lisa Anne Morrison) who is the happiest person I have ever seen in my entire 19 years of life. I have no idea how anyone can be that sickeningly happy while working in a school. Then there's the fact that Hannah says that once her, Jessica and Alex are all friends, they eventually went their separate ways, or so she thought. It seems that through the lens we're seeing this, the lens Hannah has created, that Alex dropped the girls as friends because he "upgraded" as Hannah puts it. Then Jessica drops Hannah for some reason. We then see that Jessica and Alex are dating and rather than just drop either of them a text saying "hi, what's up? Wanna hang out sometime?" she decides to leave them be. 

Jessica tells Clay that it was actually Hannah that stopped coming, bringing his ideas of what he thought to be true crashing down around him as he asks "but why would she lie?" Why would she lie Clay? I'll tell you why, she's manipulating the events to paint herself a nice victim portrait, to show everyone that she was alone and nobody cared.

I understand that depression and a variety of other mental health issues can cause you to pull away from those you care about, I've been there, done that got the t-shirt and been going back and forth on a holiday there for years. But the thing is, you can't make yourself out as a victim because two of your friends got together and you didn't like it so you pulled away from them. That's not how friendship works. As you said, Hannah, friendship is complicated.

You did nothing: At the beginning of the episode, Hannah tells us, in not so many specific words, that her death, whether you're immediately linked to her or not, is your fault. And this seems to be a thing that's probably going to be pushed through every episode and I really can't be bothered with that. This is such a horrible move for this girl to make, has she thought about her own actions? Has she thought that school is going to be over soon and she'll never have to hear these rumours again? Has she thought to just ignore them and find herself some better friends who won't slap her in public and call her a slut? She's definitely planned this out more than she should have and it's going to be interesting to see how this plays out.

Clay: This little bundle of idiot innocence strikes again with not knowing how to talk to a girl. Hannah asks him if he thinks she'll ever be as pretty as Jessica and he pauses like...the fuck? You're really pretty, probably prettier than her. She then gets in a huff which...I understand I've done that more than enough times when it takes Ben more than a second to agree with me that I'm cute as fuck but then he says she's special. Bitch no, you don't do that, that's not a good save. God. This is the only scene in which I like Hannah.

Hannah: My like for Hannah was short lived, unfortunately. At the start of the episode, Hannah is telling us that she knows why we're still listening to these tapes, we want to know who else killed her and how. It's disgustingly smug and she finishes her little speech with Quote: "oh and by the way, I'm still dead." What a horrible thing to say, of course you're still dead, listening to these tapes and forcing people to be guilt ridden isn't going to bring you back, nor is it going to bring you any sort of satisfaction. If you'd faked your death and were watching this from afar to see the misery you were causing that would be understandable but you're dead. There is no point in this aside from petty vengeance for your friend getting a boyfriend.

The tapes: There's an investigation into Hannah's suicide and so far at least 4 people, not counting Clay have listened to these tapes. Why has nobody thought to hand these into the police? It could be helpful in finding out what happened and from Hannah's point of view too. Then again with Hannah not saying anything was her fault and manipulating the story so as to make the listener to feel guilty, maybe that's a good enough reason to not tell the police. Why should they trust the manipulator?

Overall, I still can't stand Hannah, and she seems to become a slightly worse person as these tapes go on, there's only so much I can take before I go mad and say things I will regret about her. Maybe she'll make me a tape. Anyway, that's it from me today, I'm heading out and enjoying the day for once so peace out guys.

This is just my opinion and if you disagree then that's great, I'm open to discussion and I'm always interested to hear how you feel about this episode/series. This is also a critique which is considered "Fair Use" under the Copyright Act 1976. If you like this series then go and support its creators by watching it again on its platform.